You will find short stories on this site. Most are autobiographical. Some are fiction.

RATS ‘N POT

There is only one thing I fear about growing old. That is the prospect of living through mental deterioration caused by Alzheimer's disease. So when I read an article in Discover Magazine, three years ago, I decided to consume a small amount of Marijuana daily. The article described a scientific experiment in which rats bred to develop Alzheimer's were allowed to live a full rat life. Half of them had a healthy rat diet. The other half had the same diet plus a small amount of marijuana. The conclusion of the study was that the rats with pot were less likely to develop Alzheimer's. And when they did it was later in their lives. In addition, the rats on pot were superior at finding their way through mazes. The author noted that rat model experiments pertaining to diet, have been shown to correlate highly with human outcomes.

A couple months later I visited the green farmacy and purchased a 6-inch tall pot plant for the outrageous price of $40.00. I planted it in a sunny spot, which was protected from deer. I watered and fertilized it with tender care through the summer. In the fall it was harvested and hung to dry in the house. It became an ingredient in cookies over the following year.

The next Spring a friend offered me a dozen pot seeds. Six sprouted. Since the law only permits four plants, I gave two to Dave. A big challenge was to keep the deer from enjoying my pot plants before I was able to. I bought welded wire mesh and built a cage-like enclosure to protect the marijuana plants from deer. I nurtured my plants through the summer. They did very well. The tallest was over 6 feet high. In the Fall I had four large plants to dry. Remembering the smell in the house the previous Winter, while one pot plant was drying, I couldn’t ask Carole to endure four plants in the house. I came up with another plan. I brought a ladder from the woodshed. On it I could stand half way through the small access panel to the attic. There, I spread a bed sheet across the insulation. I carefully laid the plants out evenly on it to dry in our warm and well-ventilated attic.

Over the winter, Duffy, our much loved kitty cat, died. Not long after Duffy was gone a rat moved in. We tried everything short of poison, to catch that rat in order to give it a new home in the woods. However this rat has great wisdom and discipline. While it must have been very hungry, it would not venture into our live trap for select morsels. Meanwhile, I continued enjoying my daily pot cookie through the winter relying on the $40 plant from the previous summer for the key ingredient.

I had not thought about the pot plants in the attic. Nor have I thought about Alzheimer’s much. It seems that by doing something to prevent it, the anxiety about developing it is diminished. Actually, I have no way of knowing that marijuana affects the likelihood of developing Alzheimer's in humans. But I enjoy the idea that it does.

The following Spring I remembered the pot in the attic. It will certainly be dry by this time. With the ladder, I climbed through the access panel to retrieve my stash. In the dim light of the attic, I could see that the rat had devoured all the plants leaving only piles of debris on the sheet. I described the devastation to Carole, who stood below. Her response was to say “Gather the corners of that sheet and throw the whole mess in the garbage.” “Throw it in the garbage?” I protested, “Never!, not after all that I have gone through to grow it.” I gathered the corners of the sheet and took it down from the attic and out of the house. Not knowing what else to do with my sad sack, I took it out to the woodshed. I put it on the workbench and opened the sheet to see its contents for the first time in daylight. I was astounded to see that the rat had eaten the bark and even cracked open the larger stems to eat the pulp inside, but the buds and many leaves were untouched. I surmise that the strong smell of marijuana was not pleasing to the rat. I picked through the pile of debris and recovered the buds from all four plants. Our rat, having eaten marijuana, is not only wise and disciplined enough to avoid our traps, it is also generous as it left the good stuff for me.